Dead Scripts

Serving Size 4 (6557g)
Servings Per Container 10

Amounts Per Serving %DV
Movie Reviews 48%
Game Reviews 76%
Other Reviews 67%
Interviews 34%
Dead Scripts 30%
Convention Reports 49%
Miscellaneous 82%
Social Media Vitamins %DV
YouTube 33%
Facebook 33%
Twitter 33%

* Page fact values are based on a diet of watching Can films 24 hours, 7 days a week until you're awesome.

61 72 74 68 75 72 6e 6f 6d 69 63 73

These are complete or incomplete scripts that were not produced for one reason or another


Philm Crew - written by Derek, 2010 - PDF
Get a scary glimpse of our filming process!
Match-up - written by Derek, June 2007 - PDF
Domestic violence is fun.

Subchristmas - written by Derek, December 2005 - PDF
A Christmas episode that introduces Keith's family, and brings back Dennis! (Jesus). Phil actually recorded the Keith lines for this.

The Basement -- written by Alex Pomorski, July 2005 -- PDF (profanity!)
Alex's epic sci-fi/thriller/horror/action series was slated to star most of the Can of Nothing regulars (at the time) as characters caught in a strange basement after dying. A mysterious monitor speaks to them and sends them out on strange hunts with light sabers. Warning: this is non-comedy, mostly. And part five is like a physics lesson.
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five
Star Wars Apprentice -- written by Danny Santos -- PDF
Back in our Star Wars fan filming days, our friend Danny Santos decided to write us a script mixing Star Wars and The Apprentice. We just weren't in the mood for Star Wars anymore.
Bad Day For The Batman -- written by Phil, January 2005 -- PDF
The script that started off the first episode of our Batman series! It's the opening scene of the episode, but with some omitted/changed lines, and it's incomplete. We just built off this script.
Cell Phone Haters Anonymous -- written by Phil, October 2006 -- PDF
Just poking fun at a couple of silly reasons for people saying that cell phones are useful. Talked about it for so long but eventually abandoned it for larger projects.