Jar Jar-assic Park
We all know how cool of a character Jar Jar is, right? Heh...and imagine this "cool" character in the first Jurassic Park movie! A cool character in a cool movie! That's double cool! Eat your heart out, Spielberg.
The Badlands. Some dudes are digging up bones while an unknown old fat dude rummages through their fridge.
Dr. Alan Grant: Yo, Ellie! There's some fat dude here who wants to drink our wine and make us an offer.
Ellie Satler: Alright, we'll accept.
John Hammond: I'm John Hammond. I know that you two like to dig up Gungan bones. Come to my theme park.
Grant, Ellie: Okie day.
Later that day at the theme park. The group meets Ian Malcom and they take a car ride.
Grant (getting out of his seat): WHOA...I never thought I'd see a real one. Ellie. Look at this. Isn't it magnificent?
Ellie: Oh my God. It's a real life Jar Jar Binks-a-saurus!
Hammond: Welcome, to Jar Jar-assic Park.
Grant: You know, it would've been better to say that when we first got here.
Ellie: Durrr! We just met you and you've already proved yourself to be an idiot, John. What a wack-head.
Evening, at the dinner table...
Grant: Recreating Jar Jar's is too risky! Look at what happened to George Lucas when he used one!
Hammond: ... anyways...let's go on the tour tomorrow.
Ellie: Hey, dude! That be mah bo yoo ignorin!
Hammond: Shut up, biatch. I'll get mah ho's on yoo. We gonna take dis tour down mah Jar Jar park, sup G. And yoosa is gonna like it!
Next day...
Ellie: Oh great. He has grandkids. Now the movie's gonna suck. I bet they're gonna be left alone and the Jar Jar will attack them. Then they'll get thrown over a ledge and we'll have to go look for them, all while randomly running into other Jar Jars like this were an RPG!
Dr. Sid: This is not an RPG. It is real.
Guy#1: AHHHH! The power went out! The Jar Jars are escaping!
BOM...BOM...BOM...BOM...*water ripples*
Grant: Shhh...do you hear that?
Hammond: I can't hear it because I'm far away from you in the control room!
Grant: I wasn't talking to you, old man.
Ellie: Yee-ah. Tell 'im, pimp daddy Grant-mo-G.
Jar Jar: ROOOOOOOAR! Meesa called Jar Jar Binks! Whosa is yousa?
Everyone runs and some dude on the toilet gets eaten.
Tim: We're all gonna die! He ate a guy that was takin' a poop! He can eat anything!
Jar Jar: Yousa people gonna die?
Ellie: AHHHH! It speaks jibberish!
Jar Jar: I speck!
Qui-Gon: The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.
Everyone runs some more. Jar Jars pop up here and there and everywhere. Run some more. Run run run run run scream run run scream run scream, etc.
Captain Tarpals: Jar Jar! Usa a booma!
Jar Jar: Meesa no have a booma!
Grant: Oh no! Vilocojarjars with boomas! I mean boomers!!
Vilocojarjar#1: Weesa warriors.
Vilocojarjar#2: Weesa eatsa peoplesa
Vilocojarjar#3: Weesa Vilocojarjars come for comic relief.
Tyrannosaurus Jar Jar romps into the room and eats the Vilocojarjars.
Everyone runs to the helicoptor and flies away.
Grant: See, John? Your park turned out to be just like every scene in Star wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace that had Jar Jar Binks in it. Hey look! Flying Jar Jars! How nice.
BEGIN END CREDITS:
Director: Magus
Producer: Magus
Every character: Magus
Writer: Magus
Exec. Producer: Magus
Director of photography: Magus
Everything else: Magus